Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Craigslist Ad

On occasion I will peruse various sections of craigslist. I have seen this ad posted multiple times over the span of many months. I had mixed reactions about the whole thing, and thought you all (yes, all seven of you) might like to see this. The reward listed was at $9,999,999, leading me to think that craigslist bounty hunting might be my calling. The ad reads as follows (copied and pasted. Also, I just noticed that the date for the original ad was back in 2006, this means that whoever posted this ad has been repeatedly doing so for the past 6 years.)

Searching for my adopted pets (In or near Whatcom County)
Date: 2012-03-06, 6:55PM PST
Reply to: your anonymous craigslist address will appear here

Back in January of 2008 I lost access to my eight cats and dog. Jeannine adopted four of my cats and my dog out to people while I was without means to stop said actions. Either from her home address on Lakeway Drive, Bellingham, or from Bellingham Veterinary off of James and Virginia streets.

I have every intention of paying exorbitant amounts of reward money for one or more of my cats.

The cats were adopted in mid January or early February of 2008

Raistlin and Protector Kitten were paired up with a family that was apparently informed of Raistlin's bladder crystal buildup and the Science Diet CD cat food he needs to eat to reduce crystals. I'm told they lived around "the lake or "a lake". Raistlin has golden eyes, darkest tabby stripes with a slightly orange underbelly and weighs 15 pounds, possibly 17 today. Raistlin has a raspy breathing habit that comes and goes, like an asthmatic.

Protector has green eyes, is natural tabby colored and 16 to 22 pounds.Both these boys are nine (11) years old.

Wallace Widget Kinky Kitty went to another family. She has a broken tail, three major breaks, hence K.K. She is nine years old and sister to the above cats and aunt to my little vvv...Wally weighs 11 possibly 18 pounds. Wally is a dark striped tabby with moon eyes and a penchant for pounding her head into any humans face. Wally is friendly to a fault and will say hello to any human and most other animals.

Lastly is little (vvv) Vquetius, a small black and white tuxedo cat that happens to be tailess. She is four years (9) old now. She is the first born to a litter of three female, tailess kittens. She tends to be a loner, not interacting with other than myself regularly. She was supposedly adopted by a circulating foster home to show children that they can be loved without a background.

My oldest is 14 now...the second generation would be 11 and the third generation is currently 9

[Serenity Calamity Trinity was my beautiful austrailian shepherd pit bull mix of about sixty pounds. Black on white with spots. Serenity has two black teardrops to the right of her right eye and a tornado/triangle of white patched upon her right flank. (UPDATE c. June 2011 MY MOTHER MURDERED HER WITH THE INHUMANE SOCIETIES HELP)

All of these animals miss me and remember me. I am willing to pay silly amounts of money to be reunited with them one or all. Please call me at (new number pending) if you can lead me to my loved ones. I'm available by phone if you contact me by email first.

P.S. animals not taken were Taniquetil, Shelby Princess Kitiara and her two daughters Kimiaquetil and Diusfrakkibbquiel. Taniquetil is a light gray on dark stripes tailess manx. Shelby is a medium shade tabby manx. Kimiaquetil is a light gray manx. Dius is a fuzzy black dust mote. Just to jog your memories if you happened to log these cats in your memory banks. Thank you. God, please reunite me.



  1. What the heck. That's hilarious

    1. This comment has been removed by the author.